Thread for Funnies :)))
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Permalink Reply by Dawn Marie on
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courtesy of Cindy :)
If you've ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting the facts and thinking things through, you will love this! Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall.. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He asked the guy, "How much money do you make a week?" A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, "I make $400 a week. Why?" The CEO said, "Wait right here." He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, "Here's four weeks' pay. Now GET OUT and don't come back.." Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?" From across the room a voice said, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's."
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Permalink Reply by Cathleen on
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A Sunday School teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with a group of 6-year-olds.
After explaining the commandment to "Honor thy father and mother," she asked "Is there was a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy piped up, "Thou shalt not kill!"
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A pediatrician in town always jokes with his little patients, playing a little game to put them at ease and test their knowledge of body parts.
One day, while pointing at a little boy's nose, the doctor asked, "Is this your ear?"
The little boy looked at his mother and said, "Mom, I think we'd better find a new doctor!"
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Now here's one for Alan, our resident punster!
A girl was visiting her friend, who had just acquired two new dogs, and asked what their names were.The friend replied, "Rolex and Timex."
The girl remarked, "Whoever heard of naming your dogs something like that?"
"Hellloooo..." replied the friend, "They're watch dogs!"
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Permalink Reply by Alan on
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A little Lenten Humor....
An Irishman goes into a bar and orders three beers, the bar tender asks him why three beers, he replies that one is for him the others are in memory of his brothers who moved to America.
The man does this everyday for weeks on end. Then one day he orders just two.
Thinking that one of the man's brothers must have passed away the bar tender goes up to him to offer his condolences. The man says "for what" to which the bar tender replies "seeing as you only ordered two beers I thought you lost one of your brothers. To which the man says,
"No everyone is fine, I just gave up drinking for lent."
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and one courtesy of our fellow Crusader Cindy....
A Dry Town
In a small Texas conservative town, there wasn't a place to get a drink for miles around, so a local entrepreneur saw an opportunity: He started to build a tavern.
Liking a "dry" town, the local church started a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions and prayers. The businessman was polite when congregants came to protest, but work continued on the tavern.
But the night before the grand opening, a lightning strike hit the bar and it burned to the ground.
The church folks were rather smug in their piousness after that -- until the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church was ultimately responsible for the destruction of his building, either through direct or indirect actions or means.
The church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise in its reply to the court.
At the first hearing, the judge held up the paperwork and took in the lawyers and both sides of the lawsuit.
"I don't know how I'm going to decide this," the judge said, "but as it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner that believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that doesn't."
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