Thread for Funnies :)))

[Dawn Marie]

[Cathleen]

Good one!  Thanks!

[Alan]

[Alan]

another good one courtesy of Cindy...

A woman is sipping from a glass of wine,
while sitting on the patio with her husband,
and she says, "I love you so much,
I don't know how I could ever live without you" ... 
Her husband asks, "Is that you, or the wine talking?"

... She replies, "It's me............talking to the wine."

[Cathleen]

HA-HA-HA-HA!  Good one!  Thanks!

[Cathleen]

An elderly gentleman had had serious hearing problems for many years.

Finally he went to see a doctor, and was fitted with a new set of hearing aids which allowed him to hear perfectly.

A month later, he went back to see his doctor, who said, "Your hearing is perfect now.  Your family must be so pleased that you can hear again."

"Oh, I haven't told them yet," the man replied.  "I just sit around and listen to conversations.  So far I've changed my will three times!"

[Cathleen]

One of the great mysteries in life is how the idiot who married your daughter can be the father of the smartest grandchildren in the world!  :-)

[Alan]

These are great!  Thx Cindy!

THE OLDER CROWD

A distraught senior citizen
Phoned her doctor's office.
'Is it true,' she wanted to know,
'that the medication
You prescribed has to be taken
For the rest of my life?'
'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence
Before the senior lady replied,
I'm wondering, then,
Just how serious is my condition
Because this prescription is marked
'NO REFILLS'.'

[Alan]

THE OLDER CROWD

An older gentleman was
On the operating table
Awaiting surgery
And he insisted that his son,
A renowned surgeon,
Perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia,
He asked to speak to his son
'Yes, Dad, what is it? '
'Don't be nervous, son;
Do your best
And just remember,
If it doesn't go well,
If something happens to me,
Your mother
Is going to come and
Live with you and your wife....'

[Alan]

THE OLDER CROWD

Some people
Try to turn back their odometers.
Not me!
I want people to know 'why'
I look this way.
I've traveled a long way
And some of the roads weren't paved.

[Alan]

THE OLDER CROWD

Two guys one old one young
Are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart
When they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy,
'Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife,
And I guess I wasn't paying attention
To where I was going.

The young guy says, 'That's OK, it's a coincidence.
I'm looking for my wife, too...'
I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate'
The old guy says, 'Well,
Maybe I can help you find her..
What does she look like?'
' The young guy says,
'Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall,
With red hair,
Blue eyes, Long legs,
And is wearing short shorts.
What does your wife look like?'
To which the first old guy says, 'Doesn't matter,
--- let's look for yours.'

[Cathleen]

Thanks, Alan and Cindy!  Good thing I was done drinking my tea.....I probably would've have snorted all over my keyboard!  :-D

[Cathleen]

ROFL!  :-D