Thread for Funnies :)))

[Dawn Marie]

[Cathleen]

I see that Alan our punster is back!  ;-D

I enjoyed those!  Thank you!  :-D

[Peter Baxter]

Peter, Cathleen, DM, Alan, Mario Leo Joseph and of course Alley were all out celebrating Alan’s return to ‘Thread for funnies’. As these Crusader welcome backs are usually pretty rowdy (No wonder when Cathleen and Alley are together they are always planning a pay back or two) and as usual the cops were outside waiting for possible DUI violations. Probably got a tip off from Cath, (oops won’t mention names, that’s just not my way) from someone in the community.

Anyway Peter stumbles out of the bar, trips on the curb and tries his keys on five different cars before he found his. Peter opened the door, dropped his keys in the gutter and fumbled around for several minutes looking for them.

Meanwhile, DM, Alan, Mario Leo Joseph and of course Alley left the bar and drove away (Typical, Cathleen still hasn’t come out). Finally Peter started the motorised rickshaw and began to pull away. The police office put his siren on and pulled poor Peter over, read him his rights and administered the breathalyser to determine his blood-alcohol content.

The result showed a reading of 0.0

The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. Peter replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy.”

[Cathleen]

Oh no!.....I mean.....hooray, our Peter is back!

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Crusaders HR person (Cathleen) asked Peter, "So what starting salary are you looking for?"

"Oh, in the region of $125,000, depending on the benefits package....plus all the peanuts I can eat," replied Peter.

Cathleen asked, "What would you say to a package of 5 weeks paid vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental coverage, company matching retirement fund of 50% of your salary and full use of the company motorized rickshaw?"

Peter woke up out of his stupor and sat up straight,  "Wow!  You must be kidding!"

Cathleen replied, "Well, yeah I am, but you started it."

[Alley]

You were right the first time Cathleen, OH NO!!! heehee

[Alley]

LOL

[Alley]

Laughing!!

[Peter Baxter]

Alley was out cruising in her custom made motorized rickshaw one bright sunny day, when a police officer that looked rather like Cathleen (boy I am going to start having nightmares if she keeps on popping up in my stories all the time, guess I had better talk to my doctor about this.)

So when Officer Cathleen asked for Alley’s driver’s license Alley asked the officer “what does a driver’s license look like?”

Cathleen looked at her and thought that she would not be at all surprised if she goes to the same doctor Peter does. This is again typical of Cathleen making these false accusations without proper proof, and I ask the readers to ignore this paragraph.

Anyway the irritated Officer Cathleen replied, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!" (DM if you would not mind having a talk to Cathleen about name calling on this forum, readers might get scandalise and we don’t want Alley to get a complex eh.)

Back again to the story: Alley frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the Officer Cathleen

Officer Cathleen looked in the mirror, handed it back to Alley and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."

[Cathleen]

Here, Peter, here is a peace offering.......have a nice big handful of fresh peanuts!  >;-D

[Alley]

I laughed so hard....

(whispering)

Hey Cathleen, if your peanuts are fresh, why are they wet? Just wondering heehee  

[Peter Baxter]

Just once I wish you had taken all the chocolate of them. MMM I do look kind of cute.

[Cathleen]

Is that pic from your recent birthday party?  You don't look a day over two.  No wonder those policemen keep pulling you over when you venture out in the rickshaw.  ;-D

[Cathleen]

The Crusaders office manager (Alley) asked Peter the job applicant if he had any unusual talents.

"Well, besides my talent for telling witty jokes and stories, I have won several prizes in crossword puzzle competition and jingle writing competitions," replied Peter modestly.

"That's nice," said Alley, "but we need someone who can be smart during office hours.....oh, and here, help yourself to some more peanuts."

"Oh, that's perfect!" said Peter.  "I won all those prizes during office hours."