Thread for Funnies :)))
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Permalink Reply by 3n21tr41n50ql on
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Mrs Patricia Wak sat at her desk in the bank as she had everyday of her long career in banking when a frog carrying a duffle bag hopped up on the chair in front of her and politely asked for a loan.
"I'm sorry, but you are a frog," said a stunned Patty.
"No, it's ok," replied the frog. "My father knows the bank president."
Still quite fazed by the situation, Patty asked the frog his name and what he did for a living, and how the bank would secure the loan, if in fact she were able to approve such a loan.
Opening his duffle bag and and placing a small figurine of a girl chasing butterflies with a net on Patty's desk the frog replied, "My name is Franklin K. Jagger, I do not work, which is why I need the loan. This figurine is what I have for collateral.
Stunned and confused, Patty picked the up the figurine off her desk and stammered, "Franklin, I am so sorry, but I cannot help you. How could I approve a loan to someone who is unemployed and can only offer this figurine as collateral?"
"No, it's ok. My father is a personal friend of the bank manager. You'll see. Please tell him I'm here."
Absolutely taken aback, Patty enters the bank manager's office, showing him the figurine, and pointing to the frog sitting calmly at her desk. Patty gasped, "Excuse me sir, but what is this?!?!"
Looking out his door at the frog, the bank manager replied with a grin, [are you ready!?!??!!]. "It's a knick-knack Patty Wak, give the frog a loan! His old man's a Rolling Stone!!"
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Permalink Reply by Dawn Marie on
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baadaadum
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Permalink Reply by Cathleen on
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At first I thought that was something only Alan would post! You mean we have Two Resident Punsters on board?
Thank you, Bill! That was funny! :-D
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Two lions strolled down Broadway in New York City on a weekday afternoon. One turned to the other and said, "Not many people around today, are there?"
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For the kids:
On the first day of school, what did Della wear?
--her new jersey!
If I have 3 snickers bars and I give you 2, how many snickers bars do I have left?
--1
Nope 3. You know why? Because I love snickers bars, and you can't have any!
If I have 5 carrots, and I give you 2, how many carrots do I have left?
--3
Nope, 0. You know why? I don't like carrots, and you can have them all!
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Cathleen, it took me awhile--days, actually!!-- but I just now got it!!! VERY funny!!!
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Those last two sound like stuff my kids would say! :-D
Thanks, Bill! :-D
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TITLED...NO CAPTIONS NEEDEDCourtesy of Kit-Kat
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How a Bowl Should be Licked
Courtesy of Kit-Kat
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Courtesy of Freshwater IA
Warning, don't sip coffee while reading.
The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words possible. The instances of faulty writing serve to confirm that even incompetent writing may be highly entertaining:
Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
The other car collided with mine without giving warning of it's intention.
I thought my window was down. But I found it was up when I put my head through it.
A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face.
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
The guy was allover the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.
In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
I had been driving for 40 years. Then I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car, and vanished.
I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.
I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran him over.
I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.
The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy, in a small car, with a big mouth.
I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
The telephone pole was approaching, I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck the front end.
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