Thread for Funnies :)))

[Dawn Marie]

[David Kaftal]

[Dawn Marie]

@David  I guess we are the only ones who think these things are funny...oh well, I'm amused anyway :)

[David Kaftal]

I think everyone is so shell-shocked by how bad things have become (who would have thought after the '70s that things could get worse?) that the idea of humor seems out of place to them. Me, I need a little humor now and then or I would risk falling into despair.

[David Kaftal]

[Dawn Marie]

[Dawn Marie]

[David Kaftal]

[David Kaftal]

[Dawn Marie]

[Dawn Marie]

[David Kaftal]

From an email making the rounds in 2008. Apparently there was no such press release from General Motors, and the remarks attributed to Bill Gates were apparently a variation on something he said in 1997. Still, it's hilarious.

Gates vs. GM. For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection
for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. 

 

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer
industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like 

the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles 

to the gallon."   

In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

 

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the 

following characteristics:

 

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........ Twice a day. 

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would
have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart 

it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would 

simply accept this. 

 

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your 

car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall 

the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five
times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of 

the roads. 

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced 

by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light. 

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying. 

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and 

refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the 

key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. 

9. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn how to drive 

all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner 

as the old car. 

 

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

[Dawn Marie]