Thread for Funnies :)))

[Dawn Marie]

[Peter Baxter]

I am too distraught  to reply  to any of these comments but let me quote from a famous Australian play  ‘Petelet’ by Billy Baxspeare Act 3 Scene 1

 

Is she to be, or not to be (my mother): that is the question?

Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous peanuts,

Or to take arms against a sea of primate pearls, and by opposing eat them.

To die, to sleep, and by a sleep to say we end the stomach-ache and

the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to;

‘tis consummation of peanuts devoutly to be wished… but to die, to sleep!

 

Oh but what if this woman speaketh the truth?

The one who left her new born Petelet to pay for his own peanuts

Oh my heart-acheth at the thought that confronteth me hence.

To sleep, perchance to dream, ay there’s the rub,

For in that sleep of death what dreams may come

when we have shuffled off this mortal coil must give us pause –

There’s the respect that makes calamity of so long life.

Perchance to dream of her feeding me more peanuts!

Nay, I must thinkest not, I couldst not bear to be torn apart again.

But knoweth I must! Oh how this site giveth me sleepless nights,

For what doth my mind recount of that day gone by.

Ah, but little cometh to mind; once only did I see her countenance

Twas after the slap! whence she turneth to look at her new fledgling.

Ah, ay, how couldst I forget that mother’s amorous show

When she first layeth eyes on her dear Petelet. Fie!

 

 

[Alley]

How hilarious!!

[Dawn Marie]

How quickly they grow....

[Cathleen]

ROFL!  You are really too much!  That was hilarious!  ROFL!

Peter Baxter said:

I am too distraught  to reply  to any of these comments but let me quote from a famous Australian play  ‘Petelet’ by Billy Baxspeare Act 3 Scene 1

 

[Peter Baxter]

Dawn Marie said:

How quickly they grow....

Yes and they named a comic book after me and based the main character around me, three guesses who they based Lucy's character on

[Cathleen]

Actually some of my kids said that Lucy resembles one of their sisters because of her temperament...........

...........but that particular sister does have black hair, just like her mother...........

"C'mon, Peter...I mean, Charlie Brown, I'll hold the football for you!"

Peter Baxter said:

Yes and they named a comic book after me and based the main character around me, three guesses who they based Lucy's character on

[Cathleen]

A very agitated Peter walked into the Sheriff's department at the Crusader Complex.

"My friend Cathleen is missing.  She was supposed to meet me for a game of American football and she never showed up!" said Peter.

Sheriff Alan:  "Ok, sir, calm down.  What is her height?"

Peter:  "Ah dunno.  Maybe 1.75 meters?"

Alan:  "Weight?"

Peter looks miffed.  "Do you want me to get clobbered again by that scale?"

Alan:  "Ok, ok.  Average weight.  Color of eyes?"

Peter:  "Hmm....never noticed really."

Alan:  "Color of hair?"

Peter:  "Changes all the time.  Maybe dark brown?"

Alan:  "What was she wearing?"

Peter:  "Ah dunno.  Maybe a skirt?  Or was it slacks? Can't remember."

Alan:  "So when exactly did you see her last?"

Peter:  "Oh, that's easy.  Yesterday she come around and asked to borrow my truck.  Said she had a job to do.  So, being the good chap that I am, I let her borrow it."

Alan:  "What kind of truck is it, sir?"

Peter:  "Brand new dark brown 2015 Ford F150 King Ranch 4x4 with eco-boost 5.0L V8 engine special ordered with manual transmission. Custom matching cover for the bed.  Custom leather seats and Bubba floor mats.  Trailering package with gold hitch.  DVD with navigation, 21 channel CB radio, 6 cup holders and 4 power outlets.  Added special alloy wheels and off-road Michelins."

At this point, poor Peter started choking up (or maybe he had eaten his peanuts too quickly)

Alan put a sympathetic hand on Peter's shoulder.  "Don't worry, buddy.  We'll find your truck."

[Peter Baxter]

"We have word that Cathleen has just been sighted on Highway 52" said Sheriff Alan

"Oh good" replied Peter"How do you know"

"This just came in"

[Cathleen]

"Peter?  I'm back with your truck and that load of peanuts!  So sorry, but it got a "little" scratch on the side door....but traffic was just awful on that highway!  There was a lot of traffic and it was all going the wrong way!"

[Peter Baxter]

Thank you, you know where to find it if you want to borrow it again

[Cathleen]

Oh, Peter, now you have to admit it does take a certain talent to park a truck like that.

Now, be a dear and unload those 2000 pounds (907.18 kg) of peanuts that are in the back, please?

Then we can play that game of American football that I promised.  I'll hold the ball for you, Charlie.....I mean, Peter, and you run up as fast as you can and kick it.

[David Kaftal]