Thread for Funnies :)))
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Permalink Reply by Dawn Marie on
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For those of you to young to remember...................
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@ Alley
Breath Mamma, breath lol.
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Permalink Reply by Cathleen on
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In a trial in a small Southern (US) town, a prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a elderly grandmotherly type lady to the stand.
He approached her and said, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
In a soft Southern drawl, the lady replied, "Why, of course I know you, Mr. Williams! I've known you since you were a little boy, and frankly you have been a big disappointment to me! You lie, you cheat on your wife and you manipulate people and talk behind their backs. You think you're such a big shot when you don't have the brains to realize you're nothing but a two-bit pencil pusher. 'Course, I know you!"
Looking stunned and mopping his brow, the attorney then asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know my opponent, the defense attorney?"
Looking across the courtroom, Mrs. Jones replied, "Why, yes, I do! I've known Mr. Begley since he was an itty-bitty youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted and he has a drinkin' problem. He can't have a normal, polite relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the state. Besides all that, he has cheated on his wife at least three times and one of those women was your own wife. Oh, yes sir, I know him well."
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench. He whispered, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I will personally sentence you both to the electric chair."
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When I saw this I thought of all our snow covered friends :o
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I love it! Too funny.
Cathleen said:In a trial in a small Southern (US) town, a prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a elderly grandmotherly type lady to the stand.
He approached her and said, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
In a soft Southern drawl, the lady replied, "Why, of course I know you, Mr. Williams! I've known you since you were a little boy, and frankly you have been a big disappointment to me! You lie, you cheat on your wife and you manipulate people and talk behind their backs. You think you're such a big shot when you don't have the brains to realize you're nothing but a two-bit pencil pusher. 'Course, I know you!"
Looking stunned and mopping his brow, the attorney then asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know my opponent, the defense attorney?"
Looking across the courtroom, Mrs. Jones replied, "Why, yes, I do! I've known Mr. Begley since he was an itty-bitty youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted and he has a drinkin' problem. He can't have a normal, polite relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the state. Besides all that, he has cheated on his wife at least three times and one of those women was your own wife. Oh, yes sir, I know him well."
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench. He whispered, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I will personally sentence you both to the electric chair."
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Permalink Reply by Alley on
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LOL
Cathleen said:In a trial in a small Southern (US) town, a prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a elderly grandmotherly type lady to the stand.
He approached her and said, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
In a soft Southern drawl, the lady replied, "Why, of course I know you, Mr. Williams! I've known you since you were a little boy, and frankly you have been a big disappointment to me! You lie, you cheat on your wife and you manipulate people and talk behind their backs. You think you're such a big shot when you don't have the brains to realize you're nothing but a two-bit pencil pusher. 'Course, I know you!"
Looking stunned and mopping his brow, the attorney then asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know my opponent, the defense attorney?"
Looking across the courtroom, Mrs. Jones replied, "Why, yes, I do! I've known Mr. Begley since he was an itty-bitty youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted and he has a drinkin' problem. He can't have a normal, polite relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the state. Besides all that, he has cheated on his wife at least three times and one of those women was your own wife. Oh, yes sir, I know him well."
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench. He whispered, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I will personally sentence you both to the electric chair."
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ROFL!
DM said:When I saw this I thought of all our snow covered friends :o
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This reminded me of so many little old ladies I know.....and I can just hear them saying stuff like that! LOL!
Alley said:
LOL
Cathleen said:In a trial in a small Southern (US) town, a prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a elderly grandmotherly type lady to the stand.
He approached her and said, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
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