Thread for Funnies :)))
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Permalink Reply by Peter Baxter on
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Alan walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes.
"How do they feel?" asks the sales clerk.
"Well they feel a bit tight," replies Alan
The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and at the man's feet.
"Try pulling the tongue out," the clerk says.
"Well, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth.
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Permalink Reply by Cathleen on
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ROFL! Good thing I had finished drinking my tea before reading that one! Thank you, Peter! :-D
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A summer camp counselor was helping his young charges to put away their belongings on the first day of camp. One little boy was carrying a large umbrella.
"Peter, why did you bring that along?" asked the counselor.
"Sir, you've never had a mother, have you," replied the boy.
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Permalink Reply by Alley on
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Oh Cathleen that is funny and in my case true, I'm just like that lol my poor son's
when I think of what I put them through ROFL
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Alley, when Peter posted that "smoke alarm goes off - dinner's ready" joke, THAT one was so true! That has been a standing joke around here. For the record, it is not always when I am cooking, but sometimes one of my "apprentice chefs," LOL!
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A one dollar bill met a twenty dollar bill and said, "Hey, where've you been? I haven't seen you around here much."
The twenty answered, "I've been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the United States for awhile, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?"
The one dollar bill said, "You know, same old stuff... church, church, church."
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Permalink Reply by Dawn Marie on
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lololol
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Permalink Reply by Alan on
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One day, a man walks into a dentist's office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth. "One Thousand Dollars," the dentist says. "That's a ridiculous amount," the man says. "Isn't there a cheaper way?"
"Well," the dentist says, "if you don't use an aesthetic, I can knock the price down to $700." Looking annoyed the man says, "That's still too expensive!"
"Okay," says the dentist. "If I save on anesthesia and simply rip the teeth out with a pair of pliers, I can knock the price down to $400."
"Nope," moans the man, "it's still too much."
"Well," says the dentist, scratching his head, "if I let one of my students do it, I suppose I can knock the price down to $100." "Marvelous," says the man, "book my wife for next Tuesday!"
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