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I laughed out loud on that one Peter.

3 ladies in their nineties were out taking a stroll when the first one said,I just bought a new hearing aid! State of the art, and they cost 12 thousand dollars!"

The second lady said, "oh how nice, what kind is it?"

The first said, "it's 9:30"

The third said, "I thought it was Wednesday?"

Someone was at a party when he started boasting to the local journalists that his command of English language was better than that of the average journalist's.

An editorial writer didn't take too kindly to that and said, "Well, I'll bet you $100 that I can stump you."

"I accept your wager," he said.

"I'll bet you can't use the word 'because' three times consecutively in a sentence. That is my challenge!"

After thinking for a moment, he replied, "You cannot end a sentence with the word because because because is a conjunction. You lose."

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs who gets in a fight with his cat?

Claude

A "funnies' battle between Peter and Bill....and we are the winners!

Those were great, gentlemen!  Thank you!  :-D

Little Peter stood in front of his dad, nervously shifting from one foot to another:

"Can a fella get 25 bucks to repair a broken window without havin' to answer too many questions?"

Laughing these are great

Cathleen’s cooking has always been the target of family jokes. 
One evening, as she was preparing dinner a bit too quickly, the kitchen filled with smoke and the smoke detector went off.
Although both of her children had received fire-safety training at school, they did not respond to the alarm. 
Annoyed, Cathleen stormed through the house in search of them.
She found them in the bathroom, washing their hands. 
Over the loud buzzing of the smoke alarm, she asked them to identify the sound.
It's the smoke detector, they replied in unison.
"Do you know what that sound means?" Cathleen demanded.
Sure, my oldest replied. "Dinner's ready".

 That's funny, DM

That sounds like my kids, actually!  :-D

Believe it or not, we have said that before.  :-)

Peter, you've let my secret out of the bag!  ;-D

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