Thread for Funnies :)))
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Permalink Reply by Dawn Marie on
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A Pastor
goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes.
The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes.
The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and they asked him what happened.
The Pastor explains the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn't talk for more than 8 minutes. The second Sunday his gums hurt too much to talk for more than 10 minutes. But, the third Sunday, he put his wife's teeth in by mistake and he couldn't shut up...
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Good one Peter!
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Permalink Reply by Peter Baxter on
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Mujibar was trying to get a job in India ..
The Personnel Manager said,
'Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one.
Unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job.'
Mujibar said, 'I am ready.'
The manager said,
'Make a sentence using the words
Yellow, Pink, and Green ....'
Mujibar said,
'The telephone goes green, green,
And I pink it up, and say,
Yellow, this is Mujibar.'
Mujibar now works at a call centre.
No doubt you have spoken to him ..................
I know I have!!!
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Have you heard about the explosion at a cheese shop in France? The area is covered in De Brie
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Rocco Andretti married Sally O'Shea and nine months later had twins, one a boy, one a girl. As Sally was joyfully trying to discuss names for their two little bundles of joy, Rocco's face became paler and paler. "What's wrong dear?" Sally asked.
"Look, Sally there's a tradition in my family that my great uncle Gennaro, the patriarch of our family, gives names to all the first born children in our family."
Now it was Sally's turn to dread. In her mind she saw Rocco and his cousins gaetano and pino, massimo, pascuale and giuglio, all names that her Irish mother would ridicule. She was terrified.
When the big day came, and all the Andretti family from far and wide were gathered at uncle Gennaro and Aunt Letizia's house for the naming day Sally was terrified and scowled at a nervous Rocco.
Placing one twin in each of uncle Gennaro's arms, uncle Gennaro raises up the girl and announces:
"This-a beautiful little girl, I give-a the name Deniece!"
"See honey, a beautiful name!" Sally smiled and visibly relaxed.
Holding up the boy uncle Gennaro announced:
"And this-a strapping a-little boy, I call Denephew!"
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Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?"
"Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques - visualization, association - it's made a big difference for me."
"That's great! What was the name of that clinic?" Fred went blank. He thought and thought but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?"
"You mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife. "Rose, what was the name of that clinic?"
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