Thread for Funnies :)))
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Permalink Reply by Peter Baxter on
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Yep and I guess they were this big
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Catholic Wisdom
98-year-old Mother Superior from Ireland was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable.
They tried giving her some warm milk to drink but she refused it.
One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen and remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.
Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips.
Mother drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop.
"Mother," the nuns asked with earnest, "please give us some wisdom before you die."
She raised herself up in bed and said, "Don't sell that cow!"
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Did you hear about the Chineses man who bought land at the North Pole. He thought it was a good place to grow frozen pea
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Permalink Reply by Dawn Marie on
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giggle
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A Swiss man, on holiday in Dublin, needed directions. He was standing outside Davy Byrne's pub when he saw two youths walking by so he stops them and asks, 'Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?'
The two lads look at each other blankly and stare back at him.
'Excusez-moi, parlez vous Français?' He tries.
The two continue to stare.
'Parlare Italiano?' Still absolutely no response from the two lads.
'Hablan ustedes Espanol?' The Dublin lads remain totally silent.
The Swiss guy walks off extremely disappointed and downhearted that he had not been understood. One of the boys turns to the second and says, 'Y'know, maybe we should learn a foreign language!'
'Why?' says the youth, 'That guy knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good!'
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Permalink Reply by Cathleen on
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A rookie baseball pitcher was having trouble on the mound so the catcher walked out to have a talk with him.
"I've got it figured out," said the catcher. "You always lose control at the same point in every game."
"Oh, when is that?" asked the rookie.
"Right after the national anthem."
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Fuuuuuuny!
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Talking about sweet did I tell you how I met my wife, well I was with me two mates in a café, drinking café.
Well we spot a really attractive waitress and me mate who has a very loud mouth said that he would love to take her out. The waitress overheard him and comes over to our table and says. "Hey, I heard you talking about me. Well, I like an intelligent guy, so let's see who can make the best sentence using the words 'liver' and 'cheese'."
So me mate goes , "That's easy. I love liver and I hate cheese."
The waitress shakes her head in disgust.Me other mate says, "Well, I hate liver and I love cheese."
The waitress says, "That is so stupid. That's essentially the same thing!"
Then I step up and puts my arm around the waitress' waist and say. "Liver alone, cheese mine!"
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