Thread for Funnies :)))

[Dawn Marie]

[3n21tr41n50ql]

Close down the thread now DM!! We have a winner. There will not be a funnier joke than this one!!!!

Cathleen, I am still laughing out loud as I wrote this!! A GEM!!!

[Birgitta]

That is sooo funny!- (and a bit discomfiting as my memory gets worse)

[Alley]

That is so funny, I'm with you Birgitta very disconcerting!

[Cathleen]

Four high school boys, afflicted with spring fever, skipped their morning classes.  After lunch, they reported to their teacher that they had had a flat tire on the way to school.

Much to their relief, she only smiled and said, "Well, you missed a test this morning, so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper."

She waited for them to sit down and then asked them the first question:  "Which tire was flat?"

[Cathleen]

Glad you all liked it; I thought it was a hoot!  :-D

[Cathleen]

Charley was the newly hired "retiree greeter" at Wal-mart.  He was great at his job, always friendly to customers.  He always showed up clean-shaven and neatly dressed.  Charley's only problem was that he was consistently late....maybe 5 minutes one day, 10 minutes the other....but never on time.

One day the boss called him into his office for a talk.

"Charley, I want you to know that I like your work ethic, and you do a great job when you finally get here, but you are always late for the job."

"Yes, I know, sir, and I am trying to work at it."

"Well, good, you are a team player and that is what I like to hear."

"Yes sir, I understand your concern and I will try harder."

Seeming puzzled, the manager said, "I know you're retired from the military.  What did they say to you when you showed up so late every morning?"

The old man looked down, then smiled and chuckled.  "They would salute,  and say 'Good Morning, Admiral.  Can I get you your coffee sir?' "

[Alley]

Laughing 

[Cathleen]

Ok, here is a "groaner" esp for Alan and Bill.... our resident punsters!

Did you hear the one about the woman who married four times?

Her first husband was a millionaire.

Her second husband was an actor.

The next was a minister and the last one an undertaker.

One for the money, two for the show....

three to get ready and four to go!

[Dawn Marie]

Grooooanner :))) but fuuuuny!

[3n21tr41n50ql]

But Cathleen-- DON'T YOU STEP ON MY BLUE SUEDE SHOES!!!

Lol. Yours was a good one!!

[Cathleen]

It took me a minute or two, but then I got it, Bill!  Thank you for the laugh!  LOL!  :-D

[Cathleen]

The preacher told John that at his age he should be thinking about the hereafter.

John replied, "I do that all the time.  No matter where I am -- in the parlor, upstairs, in the kitchen or in the basement -- I am always asking myself what I'm here after."