Thread for Funnies :)))
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Permalink Reply by Cathleen on
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Bill was being interviewed for a job.
"What are your qualifications for the job of night watchman?" asked the interviewer.
"The slightest noise wakes me up," replied Bill.
:-D
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Ok, this next "groaner" is for Alan and Bill, our resident punsters!
As the cowboy walked into the bar, the bartender noticed that everything the cowboy wore was made of paper: his shirt, his jeans, his chaps, his boots, his kerchief, his hat -- even his spurs were made of paper!
The cowboy was arrested for rustling.
(Groan!)
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Alan said to his friend Bill, "Say, that's a nice trumpet you have there."
"Thanks," said Bill, "but it's really not mine. I borrowed it from my neighbor."
"I didn't know you knew how to play a trumpet," said Alan thoughtfully.
"I can't," replied Bill, " and now my neighbor can't either."
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Permalink Reply by Birgitta on
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That was funny because my husband tells the story from when he was a very young man: a friend, through nepotism landed a plumb job as a guard in a bank. The guys in his circle were jealous of him because it was well paid and very easy work. The guy was soon fired when they actually found him asleep propped on bags of coins. It sounds like something from a comic strip, but he swears its true.
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Permalink Reply by 3n21tr41n50ql on
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As I passed by a new neighbor's house I noticed a very cute dog lying by his feet. Introducing myself, I asked him if his dog was friendly. He said yes. As I bent down to pet the dog it growled and barely missed biting my hand.
Annoyed,I said, "hey, I thought you said your dog was friendly?"
"Oh," said my neighbor,"that's not my dog."
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Three Boy Scouts told their Scoutmaster that they had done their good deed for the day.
"What did you do, boys?" he asked.
"We helped an old lady cross the street," they said in unison.
The Scoutmaster was puzzled. "It took all three of you to do that?"
"Yes, sir!" one boy piped up. "She didn't want to go."
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Permalink Reply by Dawn Marie on
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LOLLLLL
That was hilarious!
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The elderly widow brought an old picture of her husband, wearing a hat, to the photographer.
She wanted to know if the photographer could remove the hat from the picture.
He convinced her that he could easily do that, using computer technology, and asked her which side of his head her husband parted his hair on.
"Oh, dear, I've forgotten," she said, "but you'll see for yourself when you take off his hat."
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