Thread for Funnies :)))
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Permalink Reply by Dawn Marie on
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ROFL
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Permalink Reply by Cathleen on
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During an Army war game, a commanding officer's jeep got stuck in the mud.
The C.O. saw some men lounging around nearby and asked them for help getting his jeep unstuck.
"Sorry, Sir," one of the loafers said. "The umpire has classified us as being dead, and we can't contribute in any way."
The C.O. turned to his driver and said, "Go drag a couple of those dead bodies over here and throw them under the wheels to give us some traction."
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Tim asked Alan, "What happened to your uncle's boat?"
"Ever notice that big dock at the entrance to Golden Gate?" replied Alan.
"Yes, I have," said Tim.
"Well, he didn't," replied Alan.
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A woman from a small, Southern town goes to the local newspaper office to submit her recently deceased husband's obituary. The editor informs her that the fee is $1.00 per word.
The lady thinks it over and then says, "Well, then just say: 'Billy Bob died."
Amused at the woman's thrift, the newspaper editor replies, "Sorry, ma'am, there is a seven word minimum."
A little flustered, the woman thinks it over and then says, "Well, then let it read: 'Billy Bob died - red truck for sale.' "
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Sorry I had to delete the last post. Inappropriate link attached to the images which I didn't see until afterwards.
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So let's try these instead... :)
Funny signs :)
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Permalink Reply by Birgitta on
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I need the first one . Louie is a mean little so-and-so. 2 1/2 lbs of chihuahua attitude. And the cat-- well, its a cat.
'nuff said.
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Witty Irish PriestAn Irish priest was transferred to Texas .. Father O'Malley rose from
his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish.
He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of
the beautiful day outside.
He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station......
The conversation went like this:
''Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?''''And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St.
Ann 's Catholic Church. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn
and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o'yer lads to take care of the matter?''
Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, ''Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!''
There was dead silence on the line for a long
moment...........................................
Father O'Malley then replied:
''Aye, 'tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin.''
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