Thread for Funnies :)))
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Permalink Reply by Cathleen on
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The 8th grade teacher, Mrs. O'Malley said, "Paul, give me a sentence with a direct object."
Paul answered, "Everyone thinks you are the best teacher in the school."
"Thank you, Paul," replied Mrs. O'Malley, "but now can you tell me what is the direct object of that sentence?"
"To get the best grade possible," said Paul.
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Permalink Reply by Dawn Marie on
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I'm so easily amused....this just cracked me up!
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"What time does the library open?" asked the man on the phone.
"Nine a.m.," came the reply. "And what's the big idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?"
"Not until 9:00 a.m?" the man asked in a disappointed voice.
"Not until 9:00 a.m.!" the librarian replied sharply. "Why do you want to get in before 9:00 a.m.?"
"Who said I wanted to get in?" the man said forlornly. "I want to get out."
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TEACHER: "Alan, go to the map and find America."
ALAN: "Here it is!"
TEACHER: "Correct. Now, class, tell me who discovered America."
CLASS: "Alan did!"
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On a Navy carrier, an air wing was busy with training missions. After talking to one pilot, an air traffic controller accidentally left his microphone on and remarked to a nearby buddy, "That guy sounded just like Elmer Fudd."
The airwaves got quiet. After about 10 seconds the pilot broke the silence by announcing, "Be vewy, vewy quiet. We aw hunting submawines."
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An elderly woman and her young grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. When they arrived, they saw lots of children waiting in line to get their faces painted with tiger paws.
"You have so many freckles there's no place to paint!" a little girl said to the boy.
Embarrassed, the boy dropped his head and looked away. His grandmother knelt down next to him.
"I love your freckles. When I was a little girl, I always wanted freckles, " she said, tracing her finger across his cheek. "Freckles are beautiful."
The boy looked up. "Really?" he asked.
"Of course," his grandmother said. "Why, just name one thing that's prettier than freckles."
The boy thought for a moment, peered intently into his grandmother's face and softly whispered, "Wrinkles."
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I thought this last one was cute! I have freckles and my one daughter is covered with them. A little 3-yr-old girl in our home-school group told my daughter that she liked her "sprinkles." :-D
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Sign inside a veterinarian's office:
"All unattended children will be given a kitten."
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Emmy Lou passed away and Bubba promptly called 9-1-1.
The 9-1-1 operator told Bubba that she would send someone over right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"
There was a long pause, and then Bubba said, "Tell you what. How 'bout I drag her over to Oak St. and y'all pick her up there?"
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