When a Loved One Has Died

[Renel B. Peña]

When a Loved One Has Died

We are assured by Christ that death is not the end. In fact, for the just, death is the beginning of true life. Scripture assures us of this fact, as do the saints:

"I am not dying; I am entering life." (St. Therese of Lisieux, Doctor of the Church)

"But it is flesh that dies; the soul is immortal." (St. Epiphanius of Salamis, c. 374 A.D.)

"To the good man to die is gain." (St. Ambrose, Doctor of the Church, 4th century A.D.)

"When you awake in that world, you will find that nothing could tempt you to return to this!" (St. Elizabeth Ann Seton)

"[W]e are compelled to assent to the resurrection of the dead, which God will bring about at its appointed time, when in His works He will make good His own promises." (St. Gregory of Nyssa, 4th century A.D.)

"What I pray you is dying? Just what it is to put off a garment. For the body is about the soul as a garment; and after laying this aside for a short time by means of death, we shall resume it again with more splendor." (St. John Chrysostom, Doctor of the Church, 4th century A.D.)

"Our brethren who are freed from this world by the Lord's summons are not to be mourned, since we know that they are not lost to us, but only sent on ahead of us. Departing from us, they precede us as travelers, just as navigators are accustomed to do." (St. Cyprian of Carthage)

"It is not Death that will come to fetch me, it is the good God. Death is no phantom, no horrible specter, as presented in pictures. In the catechism it is stated that death is the separation of soul and body, that is all! Well, I am not afraid of a separation which will unite me to the good God forever." (St. Therese of Lisieux, Doctor of the Church)

"How consoling it is to see a just man die! His death is good, because it ends his miseries; it is better still, because he begins a new life; it is excellent, because it places him in sweet security. From this bed of mourning, whereon he leaves a precious load of virtues, he goes to take possession of the true land of the living, Jesus acknowledges him as His brother and as His friend, for he has died to the world before closing his eyes from its dazzling light. Such is the death of the saints, a death very precious in the sight of God." (St. Bernard of Clairvaux, Doctor of the Church)

Although we miss our loved ones, we must accept death when it pleases God: "We must accept our own death, and that of our relations, when God shall send it to us, and not desire it at any other time; for it is sometimes necessary that it should happen at that particular moment, for the good of our own and their souls." (St. Philip Neri)

Despite the promise of eternal life, however, we must not lose sight of the fact that those who die will often have sins to expiate. It is wrong (and uncharitable) to instantly "canonize" loved ones after death. Such actions leave the poor souls - who are unable to assist themselves - without relief from those remaining on earth. In fact, it has been said that seven years of penance is due for each mortal sin committed during one's life. Therefore, it is good to assume that any particular loved one - no matter how good they appeared to you in life - may be in Purgatory and therefore is in great in need of prayers, Masses, etc. Note that it is very possible that some of your friends and relatives who passed away long ago may still remain in Purgatory.

"That purgatorial fire itself will be more difficult than any punishments that can be seen or imagined or felt in this life." (St. Caesar of Arles, c. 540 A.D.)

"We must say many prayers for the souls of the faithful departed, for one must be so pure to enter heaven!" (St. John Vianney)

"Day and night I am pursued by the same thought: One does not pray enough for the dead. Eighty thousand people die in this nation [France] every day." (Bl. Eugenie Smet)

"According to the holy Doctors, for every mortal sin a man is obliged by God to seven years of penance in this world, or the equivalent in purgatory; the reason being that every mortal sin is an offense against the seven Gifts of the Holy Ghost." (St. Vincent Ferrer)

"[I]f you assign, on the average, as St. Frances of Rome says, seven years for the expiation of one mortal sin, remitted as to the guilt, who does not see that we arrive at an appalling duration and that the expiation may especially be prolonged for many years, and even for centuries? Years and centuries of torments! Oh! if we only thought of it, with what care should we not avoid the least faults! with what fervor should we not practice penance to make satisfaction in this world!" (Fr. Schouppe) 

"The silence of death will tell us so plainly that our life is but a vapor, the world a passing scene, its dearest hopes illusive; that God and eternity are our all and all forever." (St. Elizabeth Ann Seton)

[Cathleen]

Thank you very much for posting this, Renel.

Prayers especially today for your dear +Mother

Eternal rest grant unto her, dear Lord and let perpetual Light shine upon her

May her soul and all the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace

+Amen