Thread for Funnies :)))
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Permalink Reply by Dawn Marie on
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teeeheee
Alley said:GREAT! Now I can't get that tune out of my head!! LOL
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Permalink Reply by Cathleen on
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Alley, DM and Cathleen missed their friend Peter, so the three girls decided to go "Down Under" and visit him. Peter was mildly surprised (to say the least) -- for once he was speechless -- but then pulling himself together he decided to make the best of it, ....er, show his friends around the beautiful Outback.
The next morning, bright and early, Peter said to the girls: "Awlright, up and at 'em. We're going on a 15km hike to see the Outback. Here are your packs, let's go!"
Pretty soon, huffing and puffing, the girls were following Col. Bogey - I mean, Peter, out on the trail. The sun soon was up and it was getting hot. Peter was briskly striding ahead.
Looking to inspire the girls, Peter said, "Well, don't complain so much. We've already gone 5 km."
The three amigas looked at each other's sweaty faces and smiled....
Peter continued, "Yes, indeed, I can see the starting point of our hike just ahead!"
"Waltzing Matilda, WALTZING MATILDA, you'll come a'waltzing Matilda with MEEEEE........"
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Permalink Reply by Alley on
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"starting point just ahead!" LAUGHING!!
I'll be Waltzing his Mitilda, after you Cathleen.
I think there's a line forming Peter!! (sweet smile)
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Alan had been sitting in the restaurant for quite some time, waiting for his meal.
Finally, a waiter returned and said, "Your fish will be coming in a minute or two, sir."
"All right," Alan replied. "Out of curiosity, what bait are you using?"
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At the Crusaders Condo Complex, Cathleen noticed that Peter hadn't been seen in the neighborhood or Crusaders Office in quite some time. So she asked her son, "Why don't you run down the street and see how Old Mr. Baxter is this morning?"
The little boy ran out the door, whistling "Waltzing Matilda" in an American accent and off key. He returned a few minutes later and reported, "Mr. Baxter says that his age is none of your business."
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Peter complained to his doctor. "I've been to three other physicians and none of them agreed with your diagnosis!"
Dr. DM calmly replied, "Just wait until the autopsy. Then we'll see who was right."
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I know its saying people use online to show something was funny but those you posted Cathleen made me laugh out loud for real LOL.
Too good!
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The local pub owner (Peter) believed he was the strongest man around. To prove it, the pub had a standing $1000 bet (American, not Aussie). Peter would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, then give the lemon to a pub patron. Anyone who could squeeze out one more drop would win the money.
Weight lifters, longshoremen, football players....they all tried but no one could do it.
One night, Cathleen walked into Peter's pub and said, "I'd like to try the famous lemon bet!" Everyone laughed, especially Peter, as he squeezed that lemon and then handed it over to Cathleen. But the whole pub went silent as Cathleen squeezed out six more drops of juice!
Cathleen started counting up the money, while Peter gasped, "What do you do for a living, besides tormenting poor innocent Aussies? Are you a weightlifter? Lumberjack? Ninja?"
"Nope!" replied Cathleen. "I work for the IRS."
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