Thread for Funnies :)))
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Permalink Reply by Cathleen on
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When I first read the joke, I figured you were setting me up as a shoplifter in the store..... :-)
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Permalink Reply by Dawn Marie on
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Permalink Reply by Peter Baxter on
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Alley don’t listen to Cathleen she knew darn right it was your car because last week she damaged my car, I thought everybody heard about it.
She was driving my motorised rickshaw home one day after work when she was caught in that terrible hailstorm. My car was covered in dents, so she went to the body shop the next day but the problem was that our Cathleen was trying to talk the repairmen into doing it on the cheap and offered them one peanut for every dent that they pulled. The repairman immediately recognised the type that our Cathleen was and decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, Cathleen went to the Crusader carpark, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her car's tailpipe. Nothing happened. She blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. DM was watching from the window rather amused by Cathleen’s antics and shouted out to her asking what she was doing making a spectacle of herself in the Crusader car park. Cathleen told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tailpipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. DM rolled her eyes and said, ... "HELLLLO, anyone knows you need to wind up the windows first!".
So Alley she has no excuses and surely she knows the difference between a motorized rickshaw and your hotted up Ford Flintstonemobile from Bedrock Ford. Na Alley she’s a crafty one is our Cathleen.
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The saga continues......
Peter decided that maybe it was best to sell the motorized rickshaw. Besides all the dents, it had 250,000 miles on it (that's over 402,000 km Down Under). So one day, Peter was feeling benevolent and he mentioned his rickshaw problem to Cathleen.
"Well, I do know a way which might make it easier to sell your rickshaw, but it's not entirely legal," replied Cathleen.
"At this point, it doesn't matter," said Peter, "just as long as I can get rid of this thing."
"Ok," said Cathleen. "Here is the name and address of a mechanic friend of mine. Tell him that I sent you. He can turn the counter back on your rickshaw so that it looks like it only has 50,000 miles (80,470 km) on it."
The following week, Peter went to go see this mechanic. About a week after that, Cathleen saw Peter in the Crusaders office (helping himself to the free peanuts) and asked him if he had sold the rickshaw.
"Well, no," replied Peter. "Why should I? It only has 80,000 km on it."
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Now that the rickshaw has fewer miles on it, Peter decided to take it out for spin. So he loaded four little penguins in the back seat and off he goes. Speeding along, Peter blew through a stop sign. As his luck would have it, Alan, the Crusaders policeman, was right there and he pulled Peter over.
Alan: "Sir, you just ran that stop sign and you were speeding too....and....hey! what are those little penguins doing in the back seat? I'm going to write you some warning tickets this time, but you have to take those penguins to the zoo."
So Alan wrote up the tickets and sent Peter off with a warning.
The next day, Peter comes barreling down the road again....same rickshaw, same penguins, now wearing sunglasses, and same Peter, eating peanuts by the handful and tossing some into the backseat for the birds. Right through the same stop sign and, sure enough, right past Alan and his patrol car. Alan pulls him over again.
Alan: "SIR! I warned you yesterday and here you are again.....speeding along, right through the stop sign...and I told you yesterday to take those little penguins to the zoo!"
Peter: "But, Officer, I did take them to the zoo. Today we are going to the beach!"
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That one deserves a slap on the back
roflll
You all come up with the funniest stuff!
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There was a motorized rickshaw driving very slowly down the American highway. Officer Alan pulled it over.
Peter: "What have I done wrong this time, Officer? I finally took the penguins back to the zoo."
Alan: "You were going 26 mph on a major American highway. There is a law against that. You have to go at least 50 mph."
Peter: "But when I turned onto the highway, the sign said 26."
Alan (laughing): "Ha-ha-ha-ha! That is the sign for the highway! This is Interstate 26! It's not the speed limit!"
Then Alan noticed Peter's three passengers, DM, Cathleen and Alley, all frozen in shock and white as ghosts.
Alan: "Sir, what happened to them?"
Peter: "I don't know, officer, but they've been like that ever since we got off Highway 160."
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SAID CATHLEEN TO PETER
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