Thread for Funnies :)))

[Dawn Marie]

[Dawn Marie]

[Dawn Marie]

I hear the drums now LOLOLOL

[Peter Baxter]

MMM Won't try that again, shouldn't have listened to DM in the first place

[Dawn Marie]

[Alan]

Good puns Cathleen!  Here are some doozies.

Customer to book store owner: "I'd like to return this book on modern medical procedures."
Owner: "Is there something wrong with it?"
Customer: "Someone removed the appendix."

Did you know that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers? Yes, it's true. But, unfortunately, all the bowling league records were destroyed in a fire, so we will never know for whom the Tells bowled.

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."

[Cathleen]

Thank you, those were great.  I especially liked the one about William Tell.  ROFL

[Cathleen]

A Texas farmer went to Australia on a vacation. There he met up with Farmer Peter and they got to talking.

Farmer Peter showed the Texan his large wheat fields, and the Texan replied, "Oh, we have wheat fields twice that size back in Texas."

They walk around the station (or ranch, for us Yanks) and Peter shows the Texan his cattle. "Oh, our longhorns back in Texas are twice that size," scoffs the Texan.

The conversation has meanwhile pretty much died out when the Texan spotted a herd of kangaroos jumping through the field. "Hey, what are those?" he asked.

Farmer Peter replied incredulously, "Why, mate, don't you have grasshoppers back in Texas?"

[Alley]

I knew I should have put a smiley face with that, sorry Cathleen my goof.

I love the banter here it always brings a smile to my day.

[Peter Baxter]

[Peter Baxter]

[Peter Baxter]

DM asked Cathleen if she could go to the store to pick up a few things, but unfortunately Cathleen had picked on so many people that it was not safe for her to walk outside the Crusader building alone. This by the way is why our Cathleen has so much time to waste on ‘thread of funnies’ and why poor Peter had to go home to his Mummy.

Anyway, DM asked Peter if he could escort Cathleen to the shops and after bribing him with an unlimited supply of peanuts for a day he succumbed to his better judgment.

We were in the store for about 5 minutes when Cathleen went missing.  I found her eventually outside talking to a traffic policeman. I snuck outside to listen to what was being said.

“Come on, buddy, how about giving a girl a break?" He ignored Cathleen and continued writing the ticket. So she called him a ‘pencil necked rat’. He glared at her and started writing another ticket for having worn tires!. Cathleen kept on insulting this Copper who was just trying to do his duty. He finished writing the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket! This went on for about 20 minutes. He finally left, leaving behind on the windscreen a huge pile of tickets.

I went up to Cathleen and there she was splitting her sides laughing in the middle of the footpath, how embarrassed I felt. I confronted her and asked what she thought she was doing, to which she replied that her car was parked around the corner this is Alley’s car.

I figured that she did this to Alley because she promised to leave poor Peter alone for twenty four hours. 

[Cathleen]

Actually I thought the tickets were all on Peter's motorized rickshaw.  I would never have done that to poor Alley!  :-)